Parents, remember, your child comes first, and only then comes the sport.

PARENTS: EMOTIONAL OR RATIONAL SUPPORT IN CHILD’S SPORTS DEVELOPMENT

This article explores the role of parents in their child’s sports development. Could it be that their support may sometimes hinder child’s sporting journey? How can we lead it in a positive way? Emotions will be present whether we like it or not. Is it a responsibility of a coach to recognize, define and lead these emotions so they assist rather than burden the training process? Parents play a crucial role from the very beginning when the child first starts gaining motor skills, and even more so when the child begins training under professional guidance at a club. The article also concerns conscious efforts made by parents, and this efforts are where we, as coaches, have the most influence. We have to guide parents and make it easier for them to monitor and encourage their child in sports, while at the same time making work easier for ourselves.

INTRODUCTION

Sport is a lifelong activity. It shapes our self-image and builds confidence. It teaches self-discipline, self-reliance, and respect for oneself and others. It enables us to engage in physical activity while having fun at the same time. Today, more people are involved in sports than ever before.

However, there is a significant difference between learning sports skills at a recreational level and demonstrating abilities in competitive settings. Competitive sport teaches youth about hard work, performing under pressure and constant balancing of emotional and physical equilibrium. All these factors can add pressure on a child, especially if information is conveyed incorrectly. Often, competitions are stressful for both children and parents as they encounter emotions they have never experienced before.

For parents, competitive sports can be a complex experience, particularly if they are encountering it for the first time. Children, on the other hand, often experience pressure due to expectations that are beyond their control or capabilities.

As a parent your desire is to help your child respond to new situations they’ve never encountered. Parents tend to equate advice in sports with advice for school, friendships, family, etc. They want their child to be happy. Over time, they realize it’s not easy to be a good parent, and sooner or later, they understand that it’s even harder to be a good parent to a child involved in any competitive activity.

ACHIEVING TOP RESULTS

Tanja Kajtna: “It’s essential to recognize that children will reach top levels only if they have high, primarily intrinsic motivation as young athletes.” For proper motivation, it is crucial to understand the child’s reasons for engaging in sports activities from the outset. This makes it easier to understand their needs and desires while simultaneously increasing their performance.

This means that a child participates in sports because they enjoy it, learn, push their limits, and meet peers during training—not because they are striving for top results from an early age. At this stage the role of parents is crucial. They should support, encourage and, of course, finance their child’s sporting endeavours. However, they must avoid falling into the trap of investing in their child’s success with an expectation of a return. The moment the child feels accountable for their performances to someone else, the pressure becomes too overwhelming for most.

CHILDREN’S EMOTIONS

It is evident how emotions affect child’s sports performance. On one hand, there are negative emotions like anger, fear, sadness, and anxiety, which generally hinder performance. However, there are also positive emotions. Joy and excitement about the activity significantly enhance the broad attention span, which is crucial for sports performance. Negative emotions will decrease child’s concentration, satisfaction and joy in performance. In most cases, they will have less control over their movements, leading to poorer performances.

Anger is the only negative emotion that can sometimes boost performance in some people, but the effects vary greatly and the triggers are simply not controllable. This brings to mind the words of Veselin Vujović, a Slovenian national handball coach, who, when asked by a journalist if Slovenians have the word “inat” (a Serbian term meaning to act out of spite), responded: “We could have it.” The term “spite” can be understood as doing something out of principle, no matter the cost. This emotion is closely linked to anger and can have a positive impact in competitive settings. However, can it be learned?

The emotion most closely associated with the parent-child relationship is FEAR. This often manifests as a child’s fear of losing, but it is just as common to see children afraid of being rejected by their parents. These parental reactions are often tied to child’s results. When confronted with a disappointing outcome, few parents recognize the effort their child has put in to get to that point. Child’s effort becomes less significant, and, unfortunately, it is not an evaluation criterion. This leads to an overemphasis on results rather than effort, causing the child to view competitions as situations where they must justify their parents’ “investment” in their sports journey.

PARENTS AND THEIR EMOTIONS

When do problems arise? When parents are unsure of their actions and thus begin to rely on natural instincts, often subconsciously. In such cases, their actions and words quickly become a burden rather than support. Parental support and interest have a decisive influence on a child’s participation in competitive sports.

How can we define support?

1. Focus on performance, not results. A result can be a goal, but it depends on many factors, some of which are beyond our reach. Performance, on the other hand, is something we can achieve and evaluate with set goals. It can be measured using predetermined criteria and assessed accordingly.
2. Reward effort and hard work over success. Not all children are winners. Some can learn this, others cannot. However, their contribution to development can be very obvious, and it is for this reason that it should not go unnoticed under any circumstances.
3. Present sport as something that shapes values important for a child’s life journey. We must not elevate sports and results as something greater than life itself. At the same time, we must be aware that the child has every right to decide for himself whether to participate in sports and under what conditions.
4. As a parent, I try to understand and empathize with emotional stress my child experiences during competitions. In most cases, it’s unavoidable, which is why we must support our child. We must be willing to listen to them and learn from them, but we should never give them the impression that we know everything about their sport.
5. A crucial parental responsibility is to encourage child’s independence. In doing so, we must refrain from commenting on tactics, referees’ decisions, and so on.